Have you ever stopped to think about how, at this exact moment, you are closer to the end of everything than you ever have been?

This may seem rather trivial, almost not worth mentioning, definitely not worth an entire post: I cut my hair. I woke up with an urge, no, a "calling" of sorts to finally chop the stuff off. Normally I would second guess something like that, put some thought into it, but as soon as it entered my mind I knew that it was right and that it was just something that I was going to do. So it was done.

Why is this significant? I think part of the reason that I grew my hair out to begin with was because of the overwhelming part of my personality that makes me feel like, at times, I should just hide. The hair was a mask, a veil, something that I could put between me and the world. Not so much physically, it bugged the living fuck out of me to constantly push it out of my face – but psychologically it was a barrier that I could use to escape.

I was not recognized today when I went into the coffee shop.

There are people in my life, people I've befriended, people that I work with, and people that I'm just casual acquaintances of that have never seen me with hair shorter than shoulder length. Tomorrow, at work, I know that it will become a topic of conversation.
"Hey, did you get your hair cut?" – yes, do you really need to ask?
"You got your hair cut." – ugh. thanks, I hadn't noticed.
"Nice haircut." – thank you 🙂

I'm tempted to just wear my hat all day, and put all of that off until the next time I decide to go into work – which happens to be Wednesday afternoon.. I love using up my vacation time. 🙂 BUT.. to do that would be to fall into the same traits that I've begun to shed, the reasons why I decided to shed the hair.

You should have seen the pile – It looked like someone swept up a small dog.

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  1. Vanessa said,

    I am SO proud of you Sparx ;). Cutting your hair was huge step for you, and I'm so glad you've realized it was your "veil" and that you are ready to release it and be okay with you. Ohhh, you have no idea how happy I am that you are making these wonderful changes in your life. I see you blossoming and it is SO exciting to watch! Bless you Sparx, for everything you are!!


    December 3, 2007 @ 11:23 am

  2. Kate said,

    i think the new 'do looks great!! it's fantastic to see your face again 🙂 you are definitely changing your life for all of the right and positive reasons. sometimes, those small changes make the hugest impact on our lives 🙂

    December 3, 2007 @ 2:26 pm

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