Twilight is Destroying Vampires

Vampires are supposed to be evil. The Undead rulers of the night. Vampires are supposed to kill, party, and just plain be badass. They aren't supposed to be emotionally confused, "sacrifice everything for 'true love'" losers – save that crap for shows on Fox (or the CW) about over-privileged teens. Vampires take what they want, and destroy whatever gets in their way.

Even Count Chocula is a better vampire!

And twilight fans, do you know what else vampires do? They burn up in the sun. They don't turn all glittery like they're going out clubbing with their BFF.

There are only two possible explanations that I can think of for the Twilight series:

  1. Stephenie Meyer hates vampires and is intentionally trying to ruin the image that they have worked so hard to build.
  2. Stephenie Meyer is a pawn in a vampire plot to take over the world. It's possible that she has been put under the hypnotic spell of an evil vampire mastermind. His intent being to convince all teenage girls that when confronted by a vampire their first reaction should be trust, compassion, and… love.
    …Like cows being led to the slaughter.

Or maybe the whole "vampire" slant was just an attempt by Meyer to cover up the fact that she can't write dialogue worth shit. I'm hoping for that second explanation though.

If you want to see how the whole "Vampire vs Werewolves" thing really plays out, the correct movie to see would be Underworld.

Comments (1)