H1N1 or Zombie Preparedness

Here at work, we've been asked to help plan for an imaginary scenario where a swine-flu epidemic causes the University to physically close. So far this has included figuring out which of our job duties we could potentially do from home (so we can still get paid), and updating contact information and such.

Right from the beginning I've gone into this pretending that I misheard "H1N1 outbreak scenario" as "'H1N1 outbreak' or 'Zombie attack' scenario".

It definitely makes the emails and discussions more interesting. What's even better is that my boss is even referring to it as a zombie attack now, rather than just this silly piggy-flu.

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Organizing Before The Zombie Apocalypse

There's a good chance that once the zombies rise, or very soon afterward, that many of the forms of communication that we rely on and take for granted will cease to exist.

Infrastructure will be destroyed not just from the zombies, but from panic (raiding/vandalism), decay, fear, etc. Until that happens though, many will just see the threat of zombies as some kind of joke, or the delusion of people that have seen too many horror movies – or need a random and consistent theme for blog posts. It's important then, that once the attacks begin, that anyone "in the know" turn immediately to any available channels of communication and begin organizing friends and family and getting them to do the same.

That last blast of organization and planning could be the thing that ultimately saves humanity.

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Where To Take Shelter During A Zombie Invasion

So, the zombies have taken over, you fear for your safety and the people you know that are still surviving – but what do you DO?!

One of the first steps you need to take is to find a secure location to call home, and eventually turn into a headquarters to fight the horde from.

When looking for a shelter, you need to consider the following: visibility, security, resources, size, and comfort. One of the top locations on my list is a "home improvement warehouse" type store, like Lowe's or Home Depot.

My local Home Depot is ideal – here's how it breaks down:

Visibility: The parking lot is huge. A couple people on the roof will be able to see a pack or a lone zombie coming from a long way away, giving us plenty of time to prepare.

Security: The building is metal. You need to pass through 2 sets of doors to get inside. The ceilings are ridiculously high, with metal racks going all the way up in some areas, giving us the ability to always have the "high ground" in case the location has been breached.

Resources: The darn place is full of building supplies, electrical equipment, packaged food, and power tools (they're pretty much the best weapons!) Also, I'm sure there's a large enough section with solar stuff that I could rig together so we would be set even if power was cut to the building.

Size: Again – it's huge.

Comfort: Refrigerators, stoves, microwaves, stuff to build beds – I can't think of a more comfortable place to seek refuge.

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Are You Prepared For The Zombie Invasion?

I think we all know that it's just a matter of time before we're confronted with a full-blown zombie uprising… but, have you watched enough zombie movies to know how to survive?

The Zombie Survival Guide is an excellent book (I'm currently borrowing a copy from the library) for brushing up on your escape plans and survival strategies.

Also, the website Zombie Preparedness Initiative is an excellent resource with tons of information about escaping, surviving, staying healthy, and FIGHTING in a world overrun by zombies.

Both of these resources will dramatically increase your chances of not only surviving, but also helping to strengthen the resistance and reclaim our world!

If we all do our part and prepare in advance (perhaps we should replace Fire and Tornado drills with Zombie drills?), we'll be unstoppable! Take THAT Zombies!

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How Awesome Are Your Co-Workers?

I've come up with an easy method for determining the Awesomeness-Level of co-workers (or any other group that you frequently associate with).

It's quite simple – here's how!

Figure out approximately how many people you can have real conversations with. By "real" I mean: things that you're mutually interested in, things that one of you are interested in but the other person doesn't keep thinking to themselves "lalala don't care, are you done talking yet", and random things like zombie invasions…… Actually, scratch all that – just figure out how many people you can talk to about zombie invasions.

I estimate that I can carry on a conversation about zombie invasions with 10% of my co-workers, which gives my co-workers an Awesomeness-Level of 10. If I do the same with my friends, they end up with an Awesomeness-Level of about 85.

See! Incredibly easy and highly accurate! Obviously this entire metric gets skewed when we're actually in the middle of a zombie invasion, but when that time comes, I'll broadcast a new system on all emergency radio frequencies.

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