Fading.. back?

Continuing the positive attitude and outlook was a bit harder today. Part of it stems from the fact that I got like 6 minutes of sleep last night. There was way too much time spent staring at the clock thinking "I need to fall asleep…. NOW!" And then at work, to compensate, I made extra nasty and double strength coffee. 8 cups. Followed by Mt. Dew. I got that beautiful caffeine high, followed by the caffeine overwhelm, continuing into the caffeine withdrawal, and then the pain.

Still, I managed to stay mostly positive. Even in the face of a group of annoying students that are around for the rest of the week. There are a few that have decided to try to give me crap, and I would love it if they fell down the stairs or something. But I'm still gonna smile, and treat them like they're not wastes of our resources.

And today I managed to cram in a bunch of extra food.. I've put on a few pounds. It's good stuff. I'm still about 5 pounds from my pre-"depressed and made myself sick and couldn't eat" weight, but I'm working on it. And then I've got another 10-15 pounds to gain to hit my target weight.

Last weekend I was bumming around and watching tv. There was a commercial for a fitness program – p90x. How extreme does that sound? Say it: p-ninety-ex! I was intrigued. It combines yoga, weight training, kempo(?) karate, and other good sounding stuff. A 90 day program, and it only costs 3 easy payments of $39.99. $120. ugh. I'm trying to find a used copy, because I can't shell out that kind of dough right now. But it would be nice to have a rigorous and comprehensive training program like that to follow.

So here we go. I'm a few steps closer to a happier, healthier me. It feels good.

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